A family member of mine was recently faced with a very tough choice. She had to choose whether or not she should take an opportunity that may help her educational pursuits.
If she chose to go, she would risk upsetting the wishes of her parents. When she called and questioned me for my advice, I sat quietly and listened. We talked through the pros and cons, I played devil’s advocate and we looked at all of the options. I worked hard not to press my private opinion on the situation or allow myself to project on what she was going through. It was tough!
In the end I reckon the best suggestion I could give her was to “sit with it.” She was a bit confused at initially. Wasn’t all the talking and mental gestation “sitting with it” enough? To clarify, I questioned her to sit in a silent space, take a few long deep breaths and question her question out loud—“what should I do? Do I stay or do I go?” Then I told her, don’t jump to any quick conclusion and don’t try to fill in the silence with reasoning, instead, sit with the question and allow it to marinate. Try not to judge or clarify your way through in order to get the answer, instead, allow the answer to come to you. The next time we spoke she had made a choice and felt apparent and excellent about the choice she made.
Something to reckon about…
The Paradox of our Age
We have larger houses, but smaller families, more convenience, but less time.
We have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgments; more experts, but more problems; more medicines, but less healthiness.
We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have vex crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.
We build more computers to hold more in rank, to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication.
We have become long on amount but small on quality.
These are times of quick foods, but slow digestion; tall man, but small character; steep profits, but shallow relationships.
It is a time when here is much in the dialogue box but nothing in the room.
–His Consecration the XIVth Dalai Lama
I took an unintentional hiatus from writing last month. I say unintentional because I had a strong desire to post, but whenever I sat down to do so the words would not flow. I did everything I could reckon of to break the writing dam, but nothing worked. So instead I opted to let that desire go and take note deeply to what was going on.
I mentioned in my March post that the Spring brings exchange and transformation. I’ve certainly been feeling this exchange and have had plenty to contemplate as life has taken a few appealing turns as of late. Add in a wedding to plot with only two months to go as well as a busy work schedule and time has been rather limited. Rather than sharing what’s come up day-to-day, I establish myself needing to sit with things a bit. I reckon my practice is evolving right before my eyes, or maybe it’s just a different way of working things out, but I’ve spent a lot of time over the past few weeks going within to determine my next best steps. What has come out of all of this is that in order to find the answers I seek, I must sit quietly and take note.
This way of thinking is not a huge departure from how I normally operate, but lately I’ve establish the chatter to be too distracting. I sometimes feel inundated by social media and well, life in general. When I’m finally done with the work day, I’ve been less inclined to jump on my computer. I’d rather be out, moving around, meeting up with friends or at the very least, transmittable up on some much needed reading and study. I used to reckon that if I did not post on my blog at least once a week, I would not be successful as a writer. But I don’t see it that way any more. Much like my realizations from teaching, I now see each post as an opportunity to be creative and say something meaningful rather than some dogged determination to prove myself to the splendid unknown. Yes, I subdue care deeply about my blog and the purpose behind it, but my perspective has shifted and I’m okay with that. In fact, I feel much more confident about what I’m doing now than every before!
So yes, some extra time has been needed to reflect and less time has been needed to share. In general I have establish that situations that require one to push too hard never really work out in the end. Instead, finding a natural ebb and flow to my day makes choice making that much simpler. It helps me to see the answers that are always right in front of me. It’s only when I stop talking and start listening that I find them.
I’m pleased it’s March. I’m hopeful that the weather patterns will start to stabilize a bit. It’s been crazy here over the past few weeks. The flowers are starting to bloom, but I can’t recall that ever happening so early on. Regardless, March has always been one of my most favorite months (with exclusion of the seasonal allergies that are in full bloom) because everything is in full bloom. Ironic, I know. The birds are chirping, flowers are blooming and color returns once more to Protect Planet. Spring is certainly in the air and I can’t wait to catch the fever—Spring fever that is!
To me, the most gorgeous thing about Spring is the ability to capture transformation right before our eyes. We see it as the leaves return to the trees, the birds prepare to nest and flowers start to blossom. This is a perfect time to reflect on the transformation and exchange you see with your practice. Take note of where you started and where you are today. Can you see or feel a difference? Relish in the beauty that is all around you and feel revitalized by the energy of Spring.
Dates to note:
March 1: World Book Day. What are your favorite reads?
March 8: Full Moon and International Women’s Day
March 11: Daylight Savings Time. Clocks spring forward one hour.
March 12: Plant a Flower Day
March 17: St. Patrick’s Day and Mercury Retrograde through April 4.
March 20: Spring Equinox
March 22: New Moon. Set intentions for the month ahead.
March is also Women’s History Month and National Nutrition Month. How will you celebrate this month?
Did I miss any fun events or dates? Let me know in the comments below.
Photo by Bogdan Sudito
Hey…take note up…I’m going to share a secret with you….a splendid huge secret about yoga. Are you ready?
You don’t have to be flexible to practice yoga.
Here, I said it. I let out the largest secret the yoga community has. I can’t believe I did that…ha!
Okay, so maybe I’m being a wee bit sarcastic, but it’s the truth. I don’t know how many times I tell people I lecture and practice yoga and they at once tell me they can’t do it because they aren’t flexible enough. Just yesterday, I was teaching at an office gym and an employee was using our area to stretch and get ready for his workout. We struck up a lovely exchange about appropriateness and yoga and while he’s sitting in what looks like Janu Sirsasana and very comfortably touches his toe, he tells me blatantly that he’s never been flexible enough for yoga.
I smiled and politely commented that given the way he was stretching he was already much more flexible than some of the fellows I see in class. He was surprised by this. Maybe he’ll reckon differently and give it a try? We’ll see.
Like anything, it’s simple to tell ourselves we’re ill-equipped to try something new. Sure, you may not be flexible enough to pretzel yourself into a revolved triangle with a bind, but you don’t need to. The gorgeous thing about the practice of yoga is that are a bevy of styles available to suit any age, weight, size or appropriateness level, you just have to have an open mind to find the right fit. Additionally, nearly every posture can be supplemented with props in order to get you into a version that works for you. The problem really is that without a flexible, open mind, you may not be able to find that fit and more likely to run than give it a chance.
The mind must wait flexible. Sure, yoga isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and I’m not here to convince you if not. What I would suggest even if, and I often to do to the many people I have this exchange with, is that you’ll never become flexible enough to practice yoga without practice yoga. In other words, you have to start somewhere and you can’t expect yourself to walk onto the mat for the initially time and automatically touch your toes. In the same way, get rid of any per-conceived notions about what yoga asana is supposed to look like. As every body is different, each person’s expression of the pose will be uniquely their own. Stop comparing yourself to the images you see on T.V., in magazines, or on the web. The point of yoga practice is not to painfully force yourself into a posture, but rather, to find a steady, comfortable pose where you can relax start to silent the mind (sthira sukham asanam YS 2.46). Why limit yourself because you can’t “achieve” some flexible state straight away? Instead, let go of all of that nonsense and let the yoga do the work. You may just be surprised by what happens when you do.
“The moment I let go of it was the moment, I got more than I could handle, The moment I jumped off of it, Was the moment I touched down” -Thank You, Alanis Morrissette
What is the toughest part of yoga practice? Is it the asana or the breath? Is it the discipline to step on your mat every day? Is it your willingness to try something new? It may be any combination of these things, or it may be one thing. In my encounter it is the simple act of letting go.
Let us not get confused here. By letting go, I don’t mean surrendering or giving up, but rather letting go of the tales we tell ourselves that we can’t do something, the expectations and judgments we encounter as we go through our practice, and our egos that push us too hard. So often these judgments and harsh criticisms hold us back, keeping us from our right potential, hiding us from the brilliance within.
One of my yoga teachers says “the strongest yogi in the room is the one that takes child’s pose when they need it.” How right. How many times have you pushed yourself too hard in class only to be left feeling worse than when you walked in or maybe even pushing to injury? Have you been involved for awhile with small exchange and feel frustrated? Yes, you show up every day, but you are subdue as stiff and tense as when you started. You can power through any Vinyasa, but your stress and anxiety levels are through the roof. Kudos to you for coming to class, but have you considered that it’s not the asana you need to master, but the act of listening and letting go instead.
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